The Appeal of Sex and the City

I have been spending way too much time watching Sex and the City. I have a long-running love affair with HBO comedies, so it's not too surprising that I am a fan and happen to own five of the six seasons on DVD. Plenty of people love the series, and if you haven't been living under a rock for the past decade, you probably know that it is an extremely popular franchise. However, Sex and the City seems to come under a lot of criticism. Sex and the City, much like Justin Bieber and Twilight, is a popular joke among teenage boys and those who act like them on the internet.

Rather than writing a defense of Sex and the City, I want to share my recent analysis of why I personally enjoy the show so much and what makes it so funny even now, thirteen years after its premier.

Of course, there are the age-old arguments that Sex and the City takes place in a fantasy world where a columnist like Carrie whose job consists of writing 600 words per week can afford such extravagant clothes, much less groceries. (And the going out! This whole show revolves around these women going out to hip bars and restaurants, and that shit gets expensive!) And while I agree that the lifestyle factors into the appeal, it can't be the only reason, since clearly not every show about rich people is wildly successful.

So here is my super in-depth analysis of the appeal of Sex and the City: Ladies like to talk about lady things.

This one simple sentence can be used to knock the show, and to insult women by implying that all women like is "lady things," but I think openly talking about fashion, sex, makeup and dating is what draws me to the show.

I have found that admitting to being into anything traditionally girly can signal a loss of credibility, or at least coolness in certain company. From the time I was a child, I can remember that girls who liked guy stuff were considered cool. I even remember considering myself a bit of a tomboy, even though I've never particularly enjoyed sports. I liked the idea of being a tomboy more than I would have liked being one.

Nowadays, my interests are varied. I'm passionate about theater, feminism, beer, television, nail polish, comedy, you name it (not sports!) But in a group of people of different genders, do I feel comfortable discussing lady things? Not really. I have to be afraid that I'll be categorized as one of those girls who always whines about inequality, or that I'll be like ALL female comedians who make jokes about periods. (I'm not sure it's possible to have seen every female comedian, but obviously somebody did when he began spreading this reliable fact.) In the fantasy land of Sex and the City, Carrie rarely gets chastised for her love of shoes. She is a grown-ass woman who lives in her own apartment and does what she wants with her money. Nobody marginalizes her passion for fashion as girlish frivolity. Carrie goes through life with her interests--sex and shopping--on her runway-fresh sleeve. Watching a show where traditionally womanly interests are not closeted or shameful makes me feel a little bit less ridiculous about the size of my ever-growing cosmetics collection.

And then of course there's the sex. These ladies speak openly about their sexuality, if only with each other. I don't have many friends who have as much sex as these women, but you don't have to be promiscuous to be able to relate to the sometimes awkward situations that arise in the show. Women are not encouraged to talk about their sexuality the same way that men are, and since it's honest, relatable and a little taboo, the comedy is golden. Does open conversation about women's sexuality make it a feminist show? Absolutely not, but even when I fully disagree with what Carrie and the gals say about men/women relations, it usually stirs up some interesting conversation with my own friends.

And last but certainly not least, it's fucking funny. The show is funny. It is a joke. Sometimes I think the teenage critics (who are obviously trolls that I shouldn't respond to) don't realize it's a comedy. Newsflash- if you laugh because it's being overly dramatic, that may have been a joke.

So I will sit here, paint my nails and sip my $3 latte while watching Sex and the City because my apartment is a safe-haven for lovers of all things girly, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and on a side note: what's up with people putting down the show because they don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty? You're entitled to your own opinion, and I can certainly see where you're coming from, but by using that tactic, you imply that every woman has to look like a model for you to enjoy a television show. That's a little strange.

In other news, I missed a post on Sunday because my friends were in town and I got a brand new cat who distracted me. Meet Olive, everyone:

Revised Resolutions

I love Mondays. I know that it's strange, but I can't be the only one. Ever since high school, I have loved a fresh new week. You grab your planner and write down all of the lofty things you will accomplish that week. How that week is going to be better than the last. How everything you fucked up last week can be fixed and you will be the one to fix it.

It's just like what we all do at the beginning of a new school year. "This year, I'm going to keep everything organized!" "This year, I'm going to go over my notes after class so that I really know I've got it!" Of course, that always falls through pretty fast, but I've always been one for resolutions whether it's a new year, new school year, new semester or simply a new week. There's always room for self-improvement, and although we never really have a clean slate in front of us, Mondays always have that feeling for me.

Yesterday, I went "school supply" shopping, even though I'm not in school anymore. I feel like late August may be the best time to go office supply shopping due to back-to-school sales. I got a plastic file folder to put paid bills and other papers in. Because this year I'm going to be organized! I got some sharpies, because ours keep dying. And I got two desk organizer items that accommodate my ever-expanding makeup collection. For only $5, I got a rotating desk organizer that is perfect for holding eye brushes and lipsticks, which rocks because my lipsticks were pretty disorganized before.

Today, I stumbled upon my new years resolutions for 2011. Let's see how they hold up and revise the ones that are still feasible in a different way.

1. Better Budgetting
This is a goal every month. It's just a lot of work to keep track of all of the money I spend and make. I know that I should, but I have not been too good at this since I left the dorms last March.

2. Be a Much Better Housekeeper
Little by little, I'm improving. My room is still a disaster area, but I've become better and better about keeping common areas like the living room, dining room, bathroom and kitchen clean. Since I moved out of my old apartment, none of these places have become quite as disgusting as they had there. Although, to be fair, my old apartment was relatively disgusting when I moved in. My plan for my room (once I finally clean the thing,) is to just take it one day at a time. Instead of making a resolution "I will keep my room neat all month!" I will just do it each day for as long as I can, and that is all I can do.

3.Reduce screen time to one hour per day.
In this one, I am talking about watching movies/tv/netfix. This is never going to happen. This resolution has been aborted. I am coming to terms with the fact that I watch a lot of TV. I justify it by reminding myself that TV is what I want to do "when I grow up." Because that makes up for the hour and a half of Jersey Shore I watched when I was supposed to be cleaning my room on Saturday. Right.

4. Travel to one other continent!
I can't afford it!

5. Work out 5 hours per week, complete the Carleton Triathlon
I completed the Triathlon! Check! My new goal has been revised to work out 6 days per week, and that's ambitious. I try to do 30 minutes of cardio 4 or 5 days a week and 1 hour of cardio 1 or 2 days per week. I actually have been accomplishing this goal. It's awesome.

6. Get a tattoo
Haven't gotten one yet. Still want to. Too scared of commitment at this point.

7. Try one new recipe per week
I don't know how I expected to do this while I was still in college, but here in the real world, it has become easier to try new things. Last week I made baked ziti for me and Mira, which was burnt but awesome. Last night Mira and I had a girlfriend from college over for dinner and I made mojitos, that's a recipe, right? One of these days I'm going to make steak!


Now having seen that list that I wrote on January 1st, I'm actually surprised what is included on it and what is not. I would think "Move out of my parents' house" would be included, since I was pretty dead-set on doing that upon graduation.

The new school year is a good time, at least for me, to make new resolutions and revise the old ones because everything from the summer is slowing down and getting less crazy. It's time for me to fall into a routine, despite my ever changing shifts at my hourly job. It might even be time for me to get a pet, since I will be spending more time in the house and less time at music festivals. I really want a cat. Really bad. This time next week, maybe I will have one.

How to plan a first date in four easy steps

First, I am going to ask your forgiveness for using female pronouns almost exclusively for the object of your desire. Of course you could plan a date with a guy or any other gender, and these rules still apply. However, this post does center around traditional first-dates, which many of us modern 20-somethings may not have a taste for. Although, I must say, they have their place.

It is actually very simple when it comes down to it. I have broken it down into four easy steps for you. This formula is great for planning a first date with a new interest, or for finding something special to do with somebody you're already with when you want to treat him/her.

1. Find out when she is free

This is actually the hardest step of all. Clearly, the asking can be the hardest part for many reasons, not the least of which is making sure the person you're interested in knows it's a date. We all remember that episode of Friends when Rachel tries to ask a cute client on a date for the first time and he thinks that she is gifting him two tickets to a basketball game rather than asking him out. OOPS! (by the way, when I say "We all remember," I really mean "I can't be the only one who remembers this... right?")

So yeah, you have to find out when she is available, and she has to know that it is actually for a date, not some friend chillout time, not some big group outing, but a real date. Since this post is about planning the date, not asking people out, I do not have to give you advice on that. What a relief.

2. Find out what cool stuff is happening that day

If you live in a city like Chicago, there's always cool stuff going on, much of which is cheap or free and pretty darn interesting. Check out any kind of listings you can find. Here, the Chicago Reader or Time Out Chicago may be of service to you. There are free movies in the park every night, there are always comedy shows, there's always pretty cheap music to see, etc. You should never be at a loss for something to do, but try to pick something a little bit off the beaten path. Getting creative makes you look like a smarter and more thoughtful person, and bitches love the smart, thoughtful types. But seriously, when you pick something a little more creative, you have a unique shared experience with this person, rather than something run-of-the-mill that she will be quick to forget.

If you live in the country, go see a movie or something. I don't know what the hell else people do in the country. Bowling? Do they go bowling? I dunno. I'm not gonna hate on you for being uncreative if there are no creative choices available to you.

Here's an example of a really unique date I was asked on once. About two and a half years ago, in the dead of winter, a new acquaintance asked me to go swimming with him. We went out to dinner and snuck into the pool at a nearby hotel. It was super creative, and obviously I have yet to forget it.

3. Find a nice restaurant near your chosen activity

Finding nice restaurants is surprisingly easy. Checkout urbanspoon.com, one of the easiest ways to find out what restaurants are most popular in a given area. A lot of the restaurants have the menu included so you'll know what you're getting into price-wise. Don't feel pressured to take your date to the most expensive restaurant. Atmosphere is far more important than price, and any girl of real value will be just as able to fall for you over a $30 dinner as a $100 dinner. If you have never been to the restaurant, be sure to read plenty of reviews (yelp, anyone?) before deciding. If any reviews have the word "romantic" in them, you're golden.

When you decide on a restaurant, make a reservation, even if your date is on a weekday. They say "You can't hurry love," but pausing it because of insufficient planning cannot be good.

4. Figure out transportation and show up

Driving? Cabbing? Training? Whichever you choose, plan it out before the date. You don't want to get your directions all mixed up and be late for your reservation, do you? Then just comb your hair, wear some nice shoes and show up on time.

Here's an example of a recent date I went on that would have been perfect, except it was a friend date:

I met up with my good buddy George and we had dinner at a really great Asian restaurant that is kind of off-the-beaten-path. Afterwards, we headed over to the Goose Island brewpub in Wrigleyville and enjoyed a couple of beers. We ended the night with an improv show at iO, only steps away from Goose Island. All in all, it was a very enjoyable night, and it would probably make a pretty nice first date.

So clearly, this formula isn't rigid. If you go to a movie in the park and have the kind of time/talent to plan a picnic, that's fine. If you decide to go to a different place for drinks before dinner, just make sure to research it just as much as the restaurant. If you have a favorite place you would like to take your date for dessert, that would be adorable. The formula simply makes it very easy to plan the always important first date.

As I mentioned earlier, I hate traditional dates, but honestly, some girls really go for that shit, and it does have its place.

A Long Night's Journey into Bed

This post will recount my journey home last Friday night (Sorry, is that song stuck in your head? My bad.)

Quick note: my journey to the bar was not without event, seeing as a guy came up to me and began speaking to me in Spanish while I was waiting on the street for a friend. Awesome.

I was having after-work drinks at Hubbard Inn at Hubbard and Clark. This could be one of my new favorite bars. It is pricey, just like every bar in that neighborhood, but it was actually super fun. Anyway, we basically closed the bar down, leaving at around 1:45. My very gentlemanly friend Big Sean walked me to the Red Line stop at Grand and State.

When the train arrived, I grabbed an available seat and soon found out that we were riding express that night. We skipped about 4 stops on my way home, so I'm not complaining about that.

Then, I coughed.

The guy next to me said "Bless you." And then after a brief pause, he said "I couldn't tell if that was a cough or a sneeze."

After I informed him that it was indeed a cough, but thanks for blessing me, we engaged in a very enjoyable exchange about how it is a strange custom that people will acknowledge sneezes, but not other bodily functions, like farts for instance. He asked me, in the least sketchy way, where I was going. I said I live between the Addison and Belmont stops, but that I would be getting off at Addison that night because it is better lit and feels a lot more safe walking from the L.

After we had been enjoying each other's company for a good few minutes, he mentioned that we would never remember each other, pretty much ensuring that I would remember him. I told him that when I get famous, he should remember me. I suppose that was a kind of strange thing to say, given I had not explained my grand aspirations to him. He told me that I should just remember the logo and pointed to his polo.

"You're just trying to brag that you're a Marine!" I responded when I saw the logo. He admitted that yes, he was bragging a little bit. We continued to discuss Marines, what it's like, and whether they're actually as mean as their reputation suggest, and then my stop came. I guess that doesn't count as him picking me up, since he didn't get my name or number or anything, but perhaps it counts as him chatting me up, and I don't really mind.

Upon exiting the train, I saw a lot of guys in football jerseys. All different NFL jerseys. I decided to ask one of them what it was about, and it turns out there was a big Fantasy Football draft that night, or something. I began to think about how jocks can be nerds too. Anybody who cares that much about anything, especially something with the word "Fantasy" in the title, is clearly a nerd. The idea that through the ages jocks and nerds have not been categorized together seems contradictory to the fact that sports enthusiasts devote hours to Fantasy Leagues...

I began walking South on Clark away from Wrigley Field, and within the two blocks it took me to get to my apartment, I got the opportunity to observe a young lady in a mini dress and heels engaging in some public urination while congenially chatting with some cops, who were presumably trying to get her to stop peeing/move. She didn't seem stressed at all about the cops catching her, and she insisted that she would be done in a minute. I assume the cops felt at a bit of a loss, since they are probably much more used to keeping guys from peeing on the street than girls. I didn't stare for long, but they really didn't seem to be doing much other than talking with her.

After some dude passing me on the street decided to tell me to "smile," I made it home to my bed, my head packed with memories of the last 25 minutes and the type of people you meet on the street at 2am.

Why does Lizzie have a blog?

So this will just be a quick introductory post about me and why I decided to start blogging.

I have been saying for a while now that I want to be a writer, whatever that is. In fact, when I was quite young, I used to think I wanted to be a writer until I realized that I didn't like books that much. In recent years, I have learned that there are other types of writers! (I know, it's hard to believe, but it is very exciting when you wrap your mind around it.)

Jokes aside, I don't really enjoy discussing what I want to do with my life. Yes, I want to be a writer. Specifically, I would like to be a TV writer in the field of comedy. Why don't I like talking about it? Because it just seems so unlikely. When someone asks you what you're doing after college and you reply "Well, I want to be the next Tina Fey," it just comes off as delusional. And to be fair, that's not exactly what I want. I admire and respect the woman as much as (more than?) the next guy, but obviously I want to be me, with my brand of humor and my very own flavor.

So where do you begin when you want to be a writer? Everybody's path is different, but one thing I've been told over and over again is that if you want to be a writer, you have to write. Practice, develop your tone, find your voice. So here I am, writing a blog. I would love to someday have some kind of focused, marketable blog that will make me very rich and famous, but this one is not the thing. This blog is for exactly what I mentioned above: practice. And if my friends and loved ones decide to read along and learn a little bit about my navigation of post-college life, all the better.

So sit back, enjoy and please comment!

Posts will be on Sundays and Thursdays. Don't make fun of me for cheating on this one.

What I learned when my car got totaled

As you may have heard, my car recently got totaled. Don't worry about me, I am fine. And that is one of the things I learned. First, the story.

I agreed to drive all the way out to Palatine Il one evening, about 45 minutes (without traffic) from my apartment, about 45 minutes from my parents' house in the suburbs. This place is not close. The reason I went out there is actually a craigslist job I had found to attend the concert of a popular Chicago cover band and ask people at the bar to sign up for the mailing list. I showed up at 10:30, and the band didn't begin playing till 11:45, this was gonna be a late night. In fact, I left just about halfway through their set, banked the $40 I was promised and headed out. It was about 1:15Am.

I left the building, and it was pouring. I had no idea how long it had been raining, and I ran to my little mini cooper, safely parked in a nearby parking garage. The first intersection I drove into was flooded with water. It being the early morning, I could not see that well. Also, I have never driven into water so deep that my car couldn't get through it, so I forged ahead until my car decided to stop driving in the middle of the intersection. I tried to get it out to no avail and proceeded to call 911, unsure if this was enough of an emergency to warrant an emergency call. The nice lady who answered instructed me to get out of my car. I didn't want to open the door, so I opened the window and climbed out. Perhaps not the best plan, but you see what you do in this situation.

By the time the emergency vehicles showed up, two more cars were stuck in the same intersection. Had it not been raining like hell, I might have been able to stop them, but that wasn't possible in that situation. I approached the firefighter and asked him what I should do. He responded (verbatim) "Honestly, right now, you're fucked." Another person who got stuck in the intersection was a really nice kid who lived about a block away and invited me to his house to call friends/family and find a ride out of there.

So, on to the lessons.

1. I do not panic.

Upon hearing this story, a lot of people have asked me if I was scared. I have to admit, I was a little freaked out, but I would never describe myself as scared. Rather than worry about what was going to happen to my car, I focused on what I was doing in each moment to get myself to a dry, warm place. I didn't cry until the next day when my insurance agent told me that my car was probably totaled. After the whole ordeal, I was pretty damn proud of myself for remaining level-headed that night and during the following days.

2. I have amazing friends.

At the time this happened, my parents were out of town. As much as they were the first people I wanted to call, I knew that they couldn't do anything at that time (now about 2am) except freak out, and I wasn't going to do that to them. I called cab companies, and none of them were willing to go out to Palatine (most of it was flooded.) At 2:30 in the morning, I attempted to call one of my best friends from home. Sean seemed likely to still be awake at 2:30 on a Saturday morning, a time when I wouldn't bother most people. Sean was with our friend Kamil, and as soon as I got in contact with them, they began doing everything in their power to come rescue me. They had been drinking, but Sean was DD, so he was prepared to drive out to get me. They spent a good amount of time switching cars so that they could have an SUV to get through the puddles. It took them hours to travel to Palatine, since nearly every road was closed. At one point, somewhere around their 5th attempted route, they found a police officer and asked the best way to get to Palatine. He replied "Turn around, go to that parking lot, and sleep in your car." These guys did no such thing. They persisted, until they found the route that led them to me.

I am so lucky to have people like this who have my back. Everybody has flaws, quirks, eccentricities, but when you find people with this kind of dedication to cut their partying short and drive for hours on a rainy Saturday morning, well, I'm just gonna say they're keepers. I got home to my parents' house at 5am.

3. Never underestimate good insurance.

Not much more to elaborate here except: Thanks, State Farm. When they totaled my car, they really took care of me. I never intend to go without good coverage. I don't want to sound like a commercial, but seriously.

Alright, well I supposed that was as good a post as any for my maiden voyage into blogging.